June 2016

I am not really sure what is going on with you... with us anymore.

I feel like you are so unhappy with me and with us with our marriage with our life together with everything.

You are always so angry it seems. Any little thing sets you off.

In the last two weeks you have told me that you wanted to leave. That I was the problem when I asked you what your problem was.

I feel like I am not good enough.

Is there someone else??

I am afraid we are going to get to the point where neither of us want to be around each other... its partly getting that way with me. I don't want to be around you because I feel like I am not what you want. I am not making you happy. Like all I do is disappoint you. I am tired of feeling like a failure.

I just don't know what to do.

but pray.

3/18/16

I don't know whats going on...  Lately I just feel like I am not appreciated or anything. I feel like I am there to cook, clean and take care of you and the kids.
I don't know where the love went between us.

I am sitting here in tears at work as I write this.

It hurts me knowing that I can send you text... send you pictures and you will reply or comment to anyone else before me.  I feel like I am a last thought anymore to you.

I hate that I put you first... when my phone goes off and I know its you... I make sure I reply right away... and even if I don't know its you- I still check my phone asap to see if it is you.   You could see its me but go on facebook or anything else and not ever reply to me and it would be fine.

Last night you said something that was so hurtful to me.

You has said something about a status that your bff put a few years ago that "who needs a woman when you have amazing friends" and you said that he isn't thinking like that now...  and I joke oh i bet you are- and you said yea. I have two amazing friends.  I said oh thats nice. and you didn't correct me or anything... so does that mean you really think that because you have 2 amazing friends you don't need me??!!  That really hurts.

But I can't say anything to you about it.

I feel like I can't say anything about anything to you.  Everything ends up in a fight.

Yesterday was bad. You made me feel like I don't work hard enough because I don't have a full time job.  That I don't make enough money. That I am just not good enough.

I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!


I hate feeling like I am just there to fill a spot in your life at times.

You tell me that I am not loving or whatever... Its hard for me to be because when I am... I end up hurt worse than normal.

I just don't know what to do.

I don't know what you expect from me.

I love you so much... and I really feel like I love you 100% more than you love me.

October 10 2015

I love you..

Thursday you were absolutely amazing. You made me dinner and let me sit and just relax while you cooked. Then we went to Burlington Coat Factory and helped a lady change her flat tire. You made me so proud and so happy that you were my husband.